Hogan's: Sympathy For Nick??
Saturday, May 31st, 2008
Saturday, June 21st - Good Time Emporium - Somerville, MA
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NOTE: the last photo in this column is extremely disturbing and graphic. Reader beware and be forewarned.
The Hogan's deep in thought; Hulk "I wonder how much money we can make off this one brother"; Brooke "RANDY SAVAGE's rap album sold more than my CD?!?"
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The Hogan's continue to make news and look like low-life trash in the process. You almost have to feel sorry for poor, young Nick. Allowed to drop out of high school to take part in a worked reality show. . .led to believe he's entitled to the good things in life.
Beautiful home. . .enhanced bodies. . .successful show on VH-1. . .lots of pets. What more could you ask for??
The picture of the perfect Florida life fell apart last August. Hulk wanted Nick and his friends to mark out for him, so he bought a few six packs of beer and went boating. No, not the same as doing lines with Beefcake and Brian Blair on the highway after an MSG house show, but you have to slow down at some point when you hit 50. Hulk was even going to treat the gang to dinner. How much generosity can Hulk afford after he got that piss poor, horrible $250,000 payoff for his last WWE match that he continues to whine about??
All of Nick's speeding and disregard for the law caught up with him that very night when he crashed one of the Hulksters cars. Nick was a little banged up, his friend, passenger John Graziano, fresh off of a tour of Iraq (as in the war, not for a wrestling company), he was hurt, too. Nick was released from the hospital soon thereafter, but John was still hurt. It was a miracle they survived, just look at the car. . .
Last September, Nick was on a message board for Toyota Supra fans, and made the following statement:
"John is expected to make a full recovery. . .his entire body is perfect, he just hit his head."
With the good comes the bad. In an interview with Rides magazine, Nick brags about not getting a ticket doing Commissioner Von Johnson/Harley Race like speeds (as in 100+MPH) because, well, he's a Hogan. When talking about the Supra (pictured above), he said that the car was a "pussy magnet," that the "panties started dropping" at the mere sight of it. Well, I guess that should be written in the past tense.
More stories start popping up about the Hogan's need for speed (read that what you will). June Cleaver-like Linda was found on a DVD talking about how much she loved to race cars on the streets. Again, what kind of image did this set for poor, young Nick??
On May 9th, it was time for Nick to pay the piper (no, not Rowdy Roddy). He got eight months in prision, five years probation, lost his license for awhile. John's "perfect body" that Nick wrote about on-line still hasn't improved all that much. Graziano's father was wild. . .his girlfriend devestated. . .his mother wanted justice. For the first time in nine months, Nick finally said he was sorry. Well, I guess legal matters prevent you from speaking from the heart until you're getting ready to be sentenced. 17 year old Nick was off to the slammer, but, lucky for him, he wouldn't be spending quality times with adult inmates. He'd have his own, private cell. Maybe Hulk was worried that Terry Garvin and Mel Phillips would charge the cell like ring boys in the 1980's. Hulk wearing the bandana to court and admitting his reality show was a work was a nice touch. What in these peoples lives ISN'T a work??
Yes, it's tough being Hulk Hogan this month. American Gladiators' ratings are going down the toilet. His son is in jail. Linda wants to milk him for every dollar he has in the bank (or hidden). So what's the big man to do?? I don't know, how about be spotted at a pool rubbing sun tan lotion on his daughters ass??
Perhaps Hulk should have consulted with former WWF superstar Nailz about life in jail before Nick was in court. Maybe he would have realized that all of the calls and visits are recorded and a matter of public record. The recordings that have been aired on TV and on-line are stunning. After you read what these imbeciles are saying to each other, think about it, then scroll to the bottom of the page to see a picture of what John Graziano - the man who has a perfect body and hit his head - currently looks like. . .
Nick's calls first started getting attention when Linda was going on about how John wouldn't want Nick in jail. . .that she knew John better than his own mother. . .and it got even juicier. . .
Hulk started talking to Nick about a secret hearing he has coming up. Hulk said he wouldn't be there because it would draw too much attention from the media. He didn't want Linda there because she'd bring "all of her divorce attorneys." Nick said he'd wear his orange jump suit for "sympathy." Very interesting. Nick begged Hulk to get him out of jail and be placed under house arrest. Yeah, it would be rough being forced to live in one of the Hogan pads for eight months. Hell, sign me up, I'll do a year!
Nick was also whining to Hulk about what appeared to be Linda whoring it up at the beach house. When mother and son chatted on the phone, Linda had all kinds of firefighters and beach boys over the house, all wanting to say hi to the little Hulkster in the can. The TMZ web-site posted a picture with a lust-looking Linda hanging out on a boat with a 19 year old pool boy. Linda, you old dog, you!
What really struck me the hardest at how far from reality these clowns are is when Nick and Hulk were talking about God punishing Graziano. . .part of the explanation was that he was an angry person and he yelled a lot (if God's dishing out punishment for that, I could be in some real trouble). Then, we hear these two fools talking about producing a reality show on the "New" Nick Hogan after he gets out of jail. . .even while he's on probation. Nick's wishes were simple. . .he told Hulk to get it on the air where they can make the most money. . .
Did the world of professional wrestling really infect Hogan so bad that he passed the sickness on to his entire family?? Do they have any idea how bad any of this sounds to the every day, average Joe that doesn't live in a $25 million mansion and hasn't turned a family friend into a vegetable???
John Graziano might have a perfect body, but if he "just" hit his head, as Nick wrote, he hit it pretty damn hard. . .again. . .the photo below is disturbing but it paints a true picture of this situation. Nick has seen John in this state. . .as has Hulk. . .as has Linda. When you see the man with the perfect body, maybe you'll think to yourself that he doesn't have enough of the "Hollywood look" that will get him a guest spot on Nick's future reality show. They're talking about secret hearings, house arrest, reality shows and God punishing a war hero because he yelled sometimes. . .and he looks like THIS. . .
LAST WARNING: this is a graphic photo and the image will stay with you.
A picture says a thousand words. . .