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RAW:  Where Are The Diva's??
Monday, October 22nd, 2007


Raw opens with Mr. Kennedy in the ring giving making political comparisons to the others that are in the voting for a title shot against Randy Orton Sunday at Cyber Sunday.  Jeff Hardy popped up standing in the crowd, and eventually made his way to the ring and attacked Kennedy.  Orton ran out, Michaels ran out.  No surprises here.  Michaels chased Orton to the back and Hardy clotheslined Kennedy over the top.  If the voting is legit, I still think Hardy could surprise people, especially with WWE's unlimited voting rules. . .

We come back to a commercial for the 500th anniversary issue of WWE Magazine.  Wow, I feel old.  I thought the magazine debuted in the mid-80's. . .I guess I'm aging in dog years. . .

Paul London & Brian Kendrick & Mickie James vs Cade & Murdoch & Melina.  With a 2/3 falls womens title match coming up later (and I'm sure more diva contest BS), no need for the women twice.  I realize the rosters are thin, so why not add to them??  That's a rant for a different column.  Babies go over, not a bad match, but no one seemed to care all that much nor was it pushed hard. . .

Something that was pushed hard was the next segment of diva search contestants attempting to arrest another gigantic waste of time that does not belong in pro wrestling, Todd Grisham.  This garbage is going to sell a lot of tickets and PPV's.  After highlights of them playing Didi McCall on the beach, the three divas were dancing around aimlessly in the interview area in the back. . .

A camera just happens to be waiting in the locker room while Michaels walks in on Hardy. . .I love how these private moments, conversations and plots always seem to be caught on Memorex. 

Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas disturb Cody Rhodes while he's readying the 500th issue.  Shelton seemed as dumbfounded as I was over the 500th issue, only he was talking about how many times Bob Holly beat Rhodes up this month.  Rhodes fired back on the intimidations tactics, saying he had respect for Holly. . .

Coachman and Regal are in the office, as Coachman wants a match with Hornswoggle.  Remember that 2.8 rating from a couple of weeks ago??  After Regal makes the match, Coach says he doesn't want the match, he wants Hornswoggle to wrestle Umaga.  Regal walks away. . .

Cody Rhodes vs Shelton Benjamin. . .Cody wins with a reverse roll-up.  Haas jumps him post match for the double team, surprise, surprise, Bob Holly saves the day.  Hey, they need tag teams.  The original plan for Bob's return was for him to team with Eugene on Smackdown and be managed by a monkey.  I'm not kidding. . .

Harry Smith vs Carlito. . .we come back from the commercial to Davey Boy's old theme song and "DH Smith" as he's now called says "I'm proud to say I'm the son of the British Bulldog."  What a fucking debut!  Why didn't they do it last week when they were in England??  I wonder if Abe Knuckleball Schwartz is giving DH words of advice??  I don't think we'll see DH in the National League anytime soon.  DH wins with Davey Boy's old running powerslam.  I don't think Carlito should have been put in this position, unless he's getting a big push right off the bat. . .

In the back, the camera happens to be in the right position as Candice and Beth Phoenix just stand there staring at each other.  Then they start to speak, with these horrible sounding threat.  Please, just end this bullshit. . .

Coachman leads Umaga to the ring for his match with Hornswoggle as we go to the break.  Do you smell Triple H??  I wonder if the crowd is ready to turn on Hornswoggle like they did on Eugene after he was overexposed after a few weeks of getting over strong. . .

We come back to a video package of Coach and Hornswoggle from last week.  Ha ha ha ha, oh, ha ha ha ha.  Click. . .and they wonder why UFC is killing them on PPV.  During the 90's boom, I used to have a half dozen to a dozen of my friends over every month to watch WWF's PPV's. . .now, none of them even pay attention to WWE because of intelligence insulting bullshit like this. . .

Umaga vs Hornswoggle.  After Umaga and Coachman were introduced, Horny came from under the ring and ran to the back.  Cue Triple H's music.  What is this, paint by the numbers sports entertainment "writing?"  This was a good, effective brawl here. . .lots of referees and officials running out trying to break it up, even a barely recognizable Barry Windham. . .

Back from the break and they were still brawling in the back.  I like it.  Then, Todd Grisham comes out for more of the diva search.  I don't like it.  Lena was eliminated, and Brooke and Eve remain, or something like that.  They each had thirty seconds to state their case.  Both tried to get the old Foley "hey Omaha" pop.  The second one had a big ass.  Next week we find out who the winner is. . .why not have it on the PPV since the gimmick is everyone votes??  I give up. . .

Randy Orton confronts Mr. Kennedy in the locker room.  More painting by the numbers. . .

Santino and Maria come out to hawk the new WWE Magazine.  The Y2J computer gimmick came up on in the middle of it.  Santino was shooting on Austin when Ron Simmons came out.  Was it ever explained why Simmons was Faarooq for eight years and then just called Ron Simmons a year ago??  Didn't they have this horrible singles match a few weeks back??  Marella got DQ'd for a low blow.  Pretty bad. . .

Triple H was in the back with Todd Grisham. . .not a bad promo.  After Triple H walked off, Grisham stood there staring like an idiot, like he does at the end of every interview he conducts. . .

Beth Phoenix vs Candice Michelle. . .JR said this was the first 2/3 womens title match they've had in the history of Raw.  They should have kept things status quo.  The first fall was over in about a minute, which wasn't a bad thing.  IF I HEAR THE TERM GLAMAZON ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO RIP MY FUCKING EARS OFF.  Phoenix hit the ropes when Candice was on the top and she took a nasty bump on her head.  She was out cold, Phoenix pulled her into the middle of the ring for the finish.  Another reason why these untrained girls shouldn't be in the ring.  They should have never moved her taking that bump, you should never physically move someone when they have a neck injury.  And WWE, being a class act, replayed the bump over and over again while she was on the mat.  It's a really tough positions for the commentators to be in, where they have to try to find the right balance of work and shoot in the way they describe things. . .

Shawn Michaels & Jeff Hardy vs Randy Orton & Mr. Kennedy. . .Kennedy looked terrible in this match.  Michaels didn't looked pleased with him at times.  Hardy pinned Kennedy for the win, which was surprising, you'd think the company was pushing for Hardy to get the fan vote when the natural build is for Michaels-Orton stemming from their angle where Orton injured Michaels and put him out of action at Judgment Day.  I guess those that want to pay $40 will find out Sunday. . .


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