TNA: Premiere Two Hour Impact
Sunday, October 7th, 2007
This is the program I've been looking forward to. . .if TNA is going to step it up to the next level, they need to make it happen with a two hour weekly program. . .
Nice opening montage package. . .I liked the faster moving show opening as well. . .
After running down a few of the matches, we open with Black Reign vs Rhino. Wow. When they had the big Spike premiere two years ago, they opened with AJ Styles to try to set the tempo for the organization. Reign looks like a heavier La Parka. Reign looks like he's moving in slow-mo. Just before the first commercial break, they cut to Raven sitting in chair wearing a top hat. Reign looks like he's moving in slow-mo. Raven interfered from ringside, I'm not sure if he was trying to help Reign or Rhino. Rhino wound up shoving Reign into Raven and won with a roll-up. That sounds like a tongue twister. Abyss hits the ring and cleans house. He catches Jim Mitchell sneaking up from behind, whose facials were just awesome. He could be Fagan in Oliver Twist. Havok ran in and Abyss gave him the black hole slam. Abyss went for Mitchell again and Reign hit him with a spike. Just as he was ready to deliver the knock out blow, the lights went out and Sting made his way to the ring. My guess would be Abyss vs Rhino vs Reign vs Raven in a Monster's Ball at the PPV. As if this segment wasn't booked to the max, we have Kurt Angle show up on the video screen at a football field. These types of booking holes really, really annoy me. How would Angle know when to come on the video screen?? Does he have this massive satellite set-up at a high school football field that gives him the video feed of impact??
Back from the break, there's more from the football field. Angle said he had family business to take care of, "your family business." Angle reveals he's at Sting's sons football practice. Ugh. Kurt can actually hear Sting say he's going to kill him, even though he doesn't have a mic. This reminds me a lot of the build from Rock and Austin at WrestleMania XVII where Debra was involved and not one fan on the planet was interested in that. They were trying to get too cute with a main event everyone wanted to see. Sting-Angle is as close to a dream match as TNA has, so why overbook it with nonsense that doesn't get over and nobody wants to see?? Why not do something, I don't know, DIFFERENT than some of the mindless nonsense WWE puts on television??
Jeremy Borash interviews Black Machismo and The Guru. Machismo said that Bound For Glory will be "the grandmother of them all." I got a kick out of that. Then the Guru opened his mouth and I can only imagine how many people joined me in groaning. Another gimmick that not one wrestling fan on the planet wants to see. What a waste of talent. Team 3D hits the set and attacks them, dragging them out to ringside. Why bury your X Division Champion who just pinned Kurt Angle on your last PPV?? They should rename it the Xtinct Division. Shark Boy ran out in a neck brace and gets 3D'd. Why not save the jobbers for this position?? Machismo is one of the few people that's really over, his merchandise sells. The Guru get trounced, Machismo goes through the table to add insult to injury. With all of the guys on the roster that aren't over or used in a key position, why not book this angle for them?? I really don't get it. . .
The horrible blonde interviewer chases Sting as he runs into the production truck. He grabs a director and asks him if "it's all about the ratings." That sounds like a line out of 2000-2001 WCW. Another commercial break. . .
Sting is still in the truck trying to communicate with Angle over a headset. Sting warns Angle that there better not be a hair hurt on his sons head. Yeah, I can just see Angle attacking a teenager at a high school football field in front of dozens of people with television cameras rolling. Ugh. . .
The blonde interviewer speaks with Robert Roode and Miss Brooks. Talk about someone that isn't remotely over even after a year of a strong push. It's time to do something different with him or stop wasting TV time with him. Roode has hired a new PR firm. Nobody cares. This was heavily edited, and that's probably a good thing. There's tension between Roode and Brooks. They talk about Roode's dead grandfather and Brooks' ill mother. Nobody cares. . .
This really might be a bad dream. After the Roode and Brooks middle school talent show skit, the other blonde interviewer that hasn't been around in awhile shows up with an adult magazine she posed for and confronts the new blonde female interviewer. They start pushing each other around. This was so f'n bad it's ridiculous. How do you book garbage like this that comes off so phony?? Have Team 3D put them through tables and be done with them, God. . .
Back in the ring, it's Commissioner Von Johnson's favorite Jackie Moore challenging Gail Kim. Two of the very few females that can actually go on national television. Voodoo Kin Mafia and the voodoo girl make their way out to ringside for no reason. Christy Hemme came to ringside with her men. James Storm was in Moore's corner. That was almost like last week, and nobody cared then, either. Way overbooked. It was hard to focus on the match. Kim won somewhere in here. The voodoo queen attacked her post-match, followed by Hemme. The three triple teamed Gail while the guys stood at ringside like props. The girls turned on each other and started hitting away. . .
Borash is with Jim Cornette in the back, who orders Team 3D vs Pacman Jones and Ron Killings to be a title match and says "what goes around comes around." Sting runs into the office hollering. . .
After a commercial break, Sting is still in Cornette's office. . .Angle now has the satellite feed going into Cornette's office. Angle's being a sports entertainer on the football field. Sting goes nuts and flips over a desk. . .
Team 3D vs Killings/Pacman. . .Team 3D come to the ring with a football. Don West keeps talking about how controversial Pacman is. What the hell has he done in two months in the company?? A babyface that spray paints other faces?? Pacman actually tags in and goes face to face with Bubba Ray and the football. Ray charges Jones like he's Jim Duggan and leap frogs over him. Ray pulls the football out of Jones hands and throws it off his chest. Jones tosses it off Ray. Devon charges Jones, but he pulls the top rope down so Devon sails over. Jones holds Ray's legs so Killings can legdrop him in the groin from the top. Voodoo Kin Mafia ran in once again, attacking Ron Killings at ringside. Pacman chased them to the back with a chair while 3D lays out Killings. The Steiners music hits and they hit the ring. Wow, another run-in. . .creative. . .more from Angle at the football game before cutting to a commercial break. . .
Borash interviews Raven in the back. . .he says some say he's washed up, but that's what they said about Terry Funk in 1982, and he came back to beat him for the ECW Heavyweight Champion. Raven says he wants to wrestle Rhino and Abyss. He wants a rematch that will be bound for gory. Abyss shows up and wants it to be a Monsters Ball match, and to bring Reign with him. . .
Next is a Fight for the Right preview match. A preview of one of the sequel to one of TNA's worst matches ever on a PPV that will have two battle royal. This is a ten man gauntlet, starting with Kaz and James Storm. Roode is number three. Kazarian is looking real good in this so far. Petey Williams is fourth. . .he would have been a prime choice to replace the X-Division Champion in the Team 3D attack earlier in the show since he hasn't done anything meaningful in over a year. Eric Young is fifth. Jimmy Rave is sixth. . .boy, they haven't done much to get this guy over since debuting. His second battle royal and one tag match. Chris Sabin was seven, he came in like a house of fire. Miss Brooks came down to watch. Alex Shelley was eighth. Sabin and Shelley were really, really over strong. They might be faces now, only never having turned. Lance Hoyt is ninth. Don West said there were some tired individuals in the ring at this point. The match isn't even ten minutes old. Chris Harris is tenth. . .well, at least it will be over soon. West puts over in dramatic tone that James Storm and Kaz are still in the match. You'd think that this was around the one hour mark of the Royal Rumble. More teases of the Kaz-Roode-Brooks triangle. The final two were Storm and Young, it turns into a singles match. Young pins Storm with the same finish of Hart-Piper from WrestleMania VIII where Storm had Young in a sleeper and he shot himself off the turnbuckles, landing on top of him for the pin. ..
The blonde interviewer gets some comments from Christian, AJ Styles and Tomko. . .Tomko says he's off to Japan to defend his tag team title belt. . .
Video montage of the Ultimate X. . .I guess this was to put over the LAX vs XXX match at Bound For Glory, only that wasn't specified. . .
Angle's back at the football field ready to congratulate Sting's son. . .
Another video montage of the Samoa Joe vs Christian match at Bound For Glory. . .
Christian & AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels & Senshi vs Samoa Joe & Rikishi & LAX. . .what a great, strong match. Built Joe-Christian. . .LAX and XXX came out stronger just by being a part of it. If they could multiply that fifteen minutes by eight this would have been one of the best television shows of any promotion for the year. . .
And after really, really enjoying that match, we have Angle back at the football field with Sting watching on some monitor. Angle keeps pushing that Sting slapped his wife. Ugh. Angle confronted the son, who slammed his car door off Angle's chest. . .Angle grabbed him out of the car and said he'll leave the rest to the imagination. . .
All in all, this show was a big disappointment. It was overbooked and filled with too much sports entertainment camp that is what made people stop buying pro wrestling pay-per-views. If you want to see what's going to get males in the 18-49 demo to spend cash on PPV, take a look at the UFC, which blows away what WWE and TNA does combined most months. Comedy on top is ineffective and does not sell. It's nice used on occasion for mid and under card guys. The ending of the opening match was a blur and really didn't make me want to spend money to see the Monsters Ball Match. . .the show long football skit was stupid and a turn off to the main event on the biggest event of the year. . .it wasn't believable. The X Division Champ was made to look like a jobber. . .the skit with Roode/Brooks and the two announcers should have never been on national television. TNA has done a good job booking Pacman's matches since he can't actually wrestle. Too many run-ins all over the show. The women's stuff felt like the same stuff they did last week. The battle royal was ridiculous when they did one on PPV last month and have two on the same PPV this month. Kaz, Sabin and Shelley looked good in it, but none of them went over. Really, the only saving grace was the eight man tag, which was well booked and the perfect match considering what they were trying to get across. I would have rather seen them end the program with that. . .
Is this indicative of what TNA is going to do for two hours each week?? It still comes across as an attempt to imitate what WWE does. . .too many skits, too many women, too much comedy, too much sports entertainment. There are so many underutilized athletes on the roster it's ridiculous. No matter how good you are, when you're booked in a way where you don't get over, you're not going to be over. Unfortunately, this reminds me a lot of the shows of the end of WCW. I don't know why TNA would want to emulate a pattern that was a complete and utter failure.
The fans, the athletes and the business needs TNA to succeed. I can only hope that TNA can take the right steps to present a product that wrestling fans will want to support in greater numbers. There are now seven hours of first run wrestling on television each week. I'd like to see one that's booked smart and strong without needless comedy and angles that insult your intelligence. . .let's have some wrestling that fans want to spend money on instead of chuckle at on free television. Get the fans passionate about the product, make them excited to see it. Push the X Division as hard as possible, it's the ONLY thing that doesn't come off as WWE light. WWE's attempt at a cruiserweight division have sucked, plain and simple. Whether it's production or the heavyweight's, you're not going to be WWE. Become the one serious pro wrestling alternative where fans can get lost in the action for a couple of hours each week. . .anything is better than repeating years of sins that was WCW. . .